Funny Diwali Quotes

70 Funny Diwali Quotes

/ Hindu Quotes / By

Looking to add some humor to the festival of lights? You’ve come to the right place. We’ve collected the wittiest and most relatable funny Diwali quotes to guarantee a chuckle amidst the glitter and sweets.

10 Funny Diwali Quotes to Start the Laughter

  1. My Diwali diet is 90% air and 10% glitter.
  2. My bank account after Diwali shopping is scarier than any ghost story.
  3. This Diwali, may your happiness be as abundant as the calories in a box of mithai.
  4. My personality from October to November is 80% Diwali excitement.
  5. “Just one more sparkler,” I said. It was not, in fact, just one.
  6. My Diwali resolution is to eat all the sweets before my siblings find them.
  7. Survived another year of loud fireworks. Achievement unlocked.
  8. Warning: I am 90% glitter and 10% human until further notice.
  9. The only workout I’m getting this Diwali is chewing.
  10. My plan for Diwali: Eat. Sleep. Light diyas. Repeat.

5 Funny Jokes: Funny Diwali Quotes

  1. Why did the diya go to therapy? It had too many wick-ed problems!
  2. What’s a firework’s favorite genre of music? Pop!
  3. I told my wallet it’s Diwali. Now it’s officially scared of light.
  4. How do you know it’s Diwali? Your clean clothes suddenly have a glittery sheen.
  5. Why was the computer so cold during Diwali? It left its Windows open!
Funny Diwali Quotes

5 Happy Deepavali Funny Diwali Quotes

  1. Shubh Deepavali! May your light shine as bright as the “Sale” sign at the mall.
  2. A very Happy Deepavali! Remember, the ‘prakash’ (light) also refers to the light on your phone screen as you order more food.
  3. Wishing you a Happy Deepavali filled with light, love, and someone else cleaning up the puja thali.
  4. Happy Deepavali! May the only thing exploding today be the flavor of your snacks.
  5. Deepavali Mubarak! May your home be filled with the sweet smell of success and the even sweeter smell of freshly fried jalebis.

5 Diwali Jokes: Funny Diwali Quotes

  1. My mom’s pre-Diwali cleaning is more intense than a military inspection.
  2. This smile is sponsored by Diwali ladoos and the promise of a long weekend.
  3. My cousin at the Diwali party: “So, when are you getting married?” Me: Lights a rocket.
  4. My skill: Finishing an entire box of mithai alone and then blaming it on the “good aura.”
  5. Just a friendly reminder that the firecracker you’re holding is basically a controlled explosion. Have fun!

10 Short Funny Diwali Quotes

  1. Diwali calories don’t count.
  2. All I want for Diwali is a nap.
  3. Glitter is my signature scent.
  4. Sorry, I’m busy being festive.
  5. Powered by sweets and sparklers.
  6. My wallet is on a Diwali fast.
  7. Officially in a food coma.
  8. This is my sparkle era.
  9. Eating my feelings (they’re sweet).
  10. Diwali mode: activated.

5 Funny Diwali Quotes in English

  1. May your Diwali be as bright as the “Check Engine” light you’re ignoring to go on a holiday.
  2. This Diwali, may you find peace, prosperity, and the remote control that’s been missing since last Diwali.
  3. Wishing you a Diwali where your new clothes don’t get attacked by a flying spark.
  4. May the force of the festival be with you, and may you survive your aunt’s questioning.
  5. Here’s to a Diwali filled with good food, great company, and zero unsolicited advice.

10 Funny Diwali Quotes for Instagram

  1. My Diwali look is 10% outfit, 90% sparkle. 💁‍♀️✨
  2. Feasting and fireworks. And by fireworks, I mean my personality.
  3. This is what 100% glitter looks like. #HappyDiwali
  4. Just a girl, standing in front of a pile of gifts, asking them to open themselves.
  5. My phone’s storage after Diwali: 5% photos, 95% slow-mo videos of fireworks.
  6. Caption this: Me trying to look serene while a rocket explodes behind me.
  7. POV: You’ve found the hidden stash of homemade kaju katli.
  8. They see me glowin’, they hatin’… 🪔😎
  9. Diwali glow-up: successful.
  10. The only thing I’m blowing up this Diwali is my diet.

5 Funny Diwali Quotes for Friends

  1. Happy Diwali to the friend who knows the real firework is our group chat!
  2. Friends like you make Diwali brighter… and the gossip spicier!
  3. Here’s to the friend I can borrow money from for Diwali shopping. You’re a real one.
  4. Wishing you a Diwali as crazy and fun as our friendship!
  5. May our Diwali be filled with laughter, great food, and zero plans that actually work out as planned.

5 Funny Diwali Quotes for Students

  1. This Diwali, may your marks shine as bright as the diyas… or at least not be a complete blackout.
  2. My brain during Diwali break: 100% festival mode. My brain when college reopens: Error 404.
  3. Diwali break: the only time “burning the midnight oil” means lighting a diya, not studying.
  4. Wishing you a Diwali so fun, you forget about your pending assignments… temporarily.
  5. May your Diwali be explosive! (Unlike your last exam, hopefully.)

5 Funny Diwali Quotes in Marathi (मराठीतील)

  1. दिवाळीत खाल्लेल्या मिठाईचे आता सगळे कॅलरी बाहेर काढायचे आहेत… म्हणजेच व्यायामाचा विचार चालू आहे!
  2. माझे पैसे दिवाळीच्या सालीबेरीत सुटले… आता फक्त शुभेच्छाच उरल्यात!
  3. आजचा लुक: २०% कपडे, ८०% चमक! दिवाळीच्या हार्दिक शुभेच्छा!
  4. दिवाळी म्हणजे “काढा पुरणपोळी, झेलाफोडी बोलली” चा सुवर्ण संधी!
  5. माझ्या आत्यांनो, फक्त एक दिवाळी तुमची “तू लग्न केव्हा करणार?” ची प्रश्न विसरून जायचो. 😅

5 Humour Funny Diwali Quotes

  1. They say Diwali is the victory of light over darkness. In my case, it’s the victory of my appetite over my willpower.
  2. My level of excitement for Diwali is directly proportional to the number of sweet boxes I receive.
  3. I’m not saying I ate a lot of mithai, but if I lie down, I roll.
  4. Diwali cleaning: The annual rediscovery of things you didn’t know you owned and don’t know what to do with.
  5. My enthusiasm for lighting crackers is now officially less than my enthusiasm for taking a nap.

Conclusion

We hope this collection brought a smile to your face! Humor is a wonderful way to connect, so don’t forget to share these funny Diwali quotes with your friends and family to double the joy and laughter this festive season. Happy Diwali